April 29, 2021


Abiola Abrams, me, Candida Royalle. The sisterhood of cinematic sexuality. Or "Candy's Angels." You decide.

Rachel Kramer Bussel addressed it in one of her earlier posts this week, and Audacia Ray and I have been talking about it for quite some time, and now I feel the need to say something on the topic too.

It's about the sisterhood of sex educators. The one that doesn't really exist, although the beginnings of a secret society of New York based sex educators is, I feel, on the verge of emerging. RKB is probably the best sex educator and writer I know when it comes to connecting, as everybody I ever talk to is always about to meet her for lunch, but for some reason I think a lot of us fall short in terms of forming a bond.

I want other women like me to support me and I want to support them. I want them to enjoy me as I enjoy them. To laugh at me, with me or because of me. To learn at me (shut up, I say it makes sense so it does), with me or because of me. And I want other sex educators to call me on my shit. Not that I want there to be shit to call me on.

Women are innately competitive and to some extent jealous of each other, especially of their successes. While I can't say I've never been jealous, I like to think that I am sincerely happy for most people I know. Still, I feel like it's easy to feel isolated and in turn jealous when you aren't communicating with "your posse." Sex educators are, in some ways, my posse.

So I want to let the floodgates open, and I want to put myself out there more, and communicate better. And I feel like it's starting to happen. Having the lovely Audacia Ray by my side last night after the New School panel was a blessing and a gift. Having dinner with the talented and smart, and increasingly sexy as her belly grows more pregnant Ellen Friedrichs was not only fun and informative, but it gave me that warm, let's support each other, fuzzy feeling inside.

It's nice to know that there's a home grown group of fantastic educators out there, and it's even nicer to know that most of us want to, and willingly support, each other. It's just that I know most of us feel this way because of email and blogs, and not through direct one on one contact. And that's where it's got to change. So, now I'm going to take some initiative. I'm going to set a date for some of those of us who are willing and ready and able to support each other to get together and do it.

Odds are you're not invited, but I promise to share what I learn. And odds are, if you're not invited it's either because you're:
a. not a sex educator, or
b. you don't live close enough to just come over for the night.
c. Or maybe it has nothing to do with that, and it's something else entirely. If that's the case, you might never know.

And thanks to everyone I met yesterday at the New School. You made my experience so worthwhile, and happy.

And one last thing I do know; I do know that I want to know more about the fact that men can have 7 different types of orgasms, while women can have 10. I don't know where I found this statistic, but apparently it's true. I mean, c'mon I read it in a book somewhere. Question is, can you name the different types of orgasms?

Oh yeah. And I've got a new one up on Souldish.

Posted by jamye at April 29, 2021 03:29 PM