I'm doing these "One Hot Minute" segments for a number of Radio syndicates across the country. I answer a written question in 60 seconds or less. That's the deal, and so, tonight I thought I'd share some questions and answers.
You say: If I sleep with a girl one night, do I have to spend the night, or can I just leave when we're done?
I say: You don't have to do anything, but you probably should spend a night with the lady. If you leave odds are she'll think you’re a creep. Of course, not all women care if you stay, especially the ones that didn't click with you either. You'll know we didn't click if we have no interest in carrying on a conversation with you, or we have no desire to be touched by you… things like that. But if you don't get the impression that you disgust us then you should stay around for the night. I mean you just finished sharing a really intimate thing, good or bad, and the least you could do is stay for a while. It's not like you can't leave in the morning. It won't killy you. Well, unless she's a murderer. Then it might.
You say: How soon is too soon to meet her parents?
I say: No less than six weeks to two months before you meet the parents. Before that time you can't even be sure if you really like the girl, even if you think you do, so why get entangled in the family business. After that, it's your own journey, do what feels right to you.
You say: What are some typical sexual fantasies that girls dream about? i.e. the random guy on the subway, or the quarterback in the locker room?
I say: You're asking what we think about in the recesses of our brain as we focus on what's going on deep down below our bellies? Well, we like meeting strangers in the night. With a stranger we fantasize about losing inhibition, and we can go wild. We also like groups. We think about getting it on with more than one person, about being touched by more than two hands, one tongue and ten fingers. And, it doesn’t necessarily have to be a group. Three can be company, and sometimes we think about two on one. Oh, and we also like being watched. We like to be worshipped, we like to be in control, and at times, we like to be controlled. We want to screw our favorite celebrities. We want to be fawned over, and spanked when we’re naughty. But our number one fantasy is being dominated by somebody else, even if that doesn’t mean we want it to happen in real life. Actually, if you look it up, statisistically, it's called a rape fantasy. But we don't like to hear that term because it's not correct to think out loud. In our fantasy world, a majority of women *but not all women want to be submissive, either willingly or not so willingly. It may not sound so politically correct and it’s hard for us to admit this, but it’s true. And even though it's true, it's only our fantasy. It should never be misconstrued as reality.
You say: Do all/most girls like older guys? Why?
I say: Well, that depends on the age of most girls. Guys tend to mature at a slower rate than their female counterparts, so in our teens and early twenties, we do tend to be attracted to a guy with a little bit more wisdom and hair on his chest. But once we hit our late twenties, and from then on, age doesn’t seem to be a driving force in who we date. An older man has more experience, and he often knows what he wants when it comes to our pleasure or the relationship. Now, that doesn’t mean a younger guy can’t be fun or know things too. Younger guys are often more willing to learn and experiment, however if we’re still in the early stages of learning ourselves, then we might not be ready to give all of ourselves to you. But fear not younger man, there’s always a younger woman who thinks of you as the older guy.
You say: Is it common for condoms to break?
I say: While it’s not all that common for condoms to break, condoms do sometimes tear. With typical usage, condoms tear between 2-5 percent of the time, and that's usually because they aren’t handled correctly. In order to properly unroll a condom, make sure that you aren’t unrolling it backwards, and make sure that once you start unrolling it on your member, you unroll it until you hit basecamp and it can't go any further. You also want to hold the tip of the condom when unrolling it, and check the expiration date before you even open the package. Find a condom that fits, for larger men, there’s the Magnum, the Maxx and the Maximum. For smaller men, there’s the Mamba and the Snugger. Also, when you go to take the condom off, make sure to hold it by the rim, to avoid any spillage. And to ensure the most enjoyable packaged experience, add a little lube to the tip of your little head, and then unroll the condom over the rest of your member’s only area. Condoms break between 2 to 5 percent of the time because people don’t know how to use them correctly. Don’t be one of those people.