November 14, 2021

Non-Monags II

For too many years I've been saying that I needed to write an article about the next generation of non-monags. But man I suck, because instead of writing the piece, I just talked about writing it for awhile. If I had gotten off my, what some my perceive as a, fat lazy ass, and made good on my words, well then things could have turned out different for me. But they didn't and instead, they turned out well anyway. The good thing is, that two friends of mine did write a really good piece about the new monogamy. I must say, I'm quite happy for them but pissed at myself for not getting it out there when I said I would.

I have always said that I find it hard to believe in monogamy for now and ever more. And while I have a (monogamous even if we don't say we are) boyfriend that I love a lot, well, most of the time (today is actually an exception as we are working through something that I'm not ready to talk about and for sure does not make me happy, and in fact has made me pretty sad all day, but we are w-o-r-k-i-n-g through it, at least we both want to, nonetheless...and no, it doesn't involve non monogamy), I know that it's difficult to committ to something in that forever sort of way. We don't even know what we're going to like or not like tomorrow, so how can we promise anybody forever? I mean, we don't even have that long to live.

Regardless, one of the couples in the article, a very talented photographer and his girlfriend have a list of rules when it comes to being non-monogamous, and I must say, if I were to ever be in a relationship that was going to open up, and yes there is a possibility that I will be in that type of aforementioned relationship, I will have to steal and apply these rules for me and my partner.

(1) The Vampire Rule: If they’re both in the same city, they have to make it back by dawn.

(2) The Three-Strikes Rule: All pinch hitters must be interested in befriending both Siege and Katie (and vice versa); however, up to three solo dates are acceptable to warm someone up.

(3) The Postcards Rule: If they’re seeing someone else on their own, they must bring home photographic evidence.

(4) The Woman-Only Rule: Katie is bisexual, Siege is not—thus, for pinch hitters to meet rule No. 2, they must be female.

(5) The Veto Rule: for Katie’s benefit, allowing her to rule out potential home-wreckers.

(6) The Safety Rule: What some couples call “body-fluid monogamy,” i.e., always use condoms when having sex with a third . . . or a fourth . . . or a fifth . . .

Just some really good rules to abide by, if living outside of the "traditional" boundaries of monogamy without actually just cheating on your spouse. Still, like I said, I wish I had written this piece back when I said I would..yes, that'll teach me - lesson learned, okay?

Oh, and I'd like to mention another friend and fellow writer who's in a different piece about sex in New York Magazine. Apparently, I'm not all that relevant, or maybe it's just I'm not all that good..although if you talk to any of the men or other people that I've had experiences with prior to becoming dull, boring and monogamous (am I really these things?) they would say I am good, least most of them would..maybe not the lawyer with whom I first hooked up with and then he stopped me because we just weren't clicking wouldn't agree, but he still wanted to see me after that anyway, so maybe not but what I'm trying to say is not only didn't I make the cut, I don't even think I was a thought in the cutter's mind before there was a cut.

Okay, I'M NOT BITTER, and yes I AM YELLING, but I had to get that point across so you'd understand just how not bitter I am, but that I'm just feeling down on myself today, and I'm trying to be honest about how I feel. Blogging is therapy, and today, I'm taking some sort of advantage of this. At least in my mind I am. Even if there's a lot of other things on my mind.

Posted by jamye at November 14, 2021 04:34 PM