August 18, 2021

Yesterday's News

speedlevitchtouraug05 008.jpg My kind of man...

Sometimes I am so behind the times, or at least a day behind them.

From Yesterday's NY DAILY NEWS:

Playgirl's hunks? The hairy, chubby & poor!

Forget waxed chests and rock-hard abs. A new survey finds ladies like their men scruffy, a wee bit chubby - and definitely not a metrosexual. Playgirl asked 2,000 of its readers what they find sexy in a man and the answers were surprising: 42% said they thought love handles were kind of sexy and 47% approved of chest hair.

The mag, which often features toned, hairless males in its beefcake photo spreads, is now searching for a man who meets readers' standards.

Average Joes everywhere can send photos to models@playgirlmag.com to compete for a shot at a pictorial in a future issue.

Rich playboys need not apply - only 4% of women said the size of a man's wallet mattered. Metrosexuals are also out: 73% want a guy who is "rough around the edges."

"This survey shows that the guy who's most attractive to our readers is not your average Hollywood hunk," said Playgirl editrix Jill Sieracki. "It's the average Joe who came up on top. Women are practical about their choices, and they're smart."

New York matchmaker Janis Spindel, a self-described specialist at setting up "highly successful, well-educated, attractive professionals," confirmed the survey's findings. "It's scary, but women don't care [about looks]," she said. "Men are very superficial and very shallow."

But Spindel disputed the claim that women don't care about finding a rich man: "Women want a man who makes more money than they do," she said. "They want to be able to live a comfortable lifestyle."

And if you haven't read enough!!!

The NY POST (again from yesterday)

DUMPY DUDES HAVE A 'HANDLE' ON THE GALS

There is a God after all, guys a lot of women actually like those love handles rolling over the sides of your pants.

In fact, many think a little fold o' flab around the male midsection is kind of sexy.

That's one of the startling revelations in a new Playgirl survey that puts the kibosh on the notion a fellow must be ripped to be romp-worthy.

In a poll of 2,000 readers, women said they'd gladly ditch movie-star good looks for the steady shlump next door.

While 58 percent dig a slightly muscular build, a surprising 42 percent of women surveyed said they found love handles a turn-on. And although a lot of chest hair turned off 51 percent, 47 percent said a bit of fur was just fine.

Metrosexuals also took a hit, with 73 percent giving them the thumbs down in favor of men slightly "rough around the edges."

And a guy doesn't have to be made of money: Only 4 percent said wealth mattered.

"This survey shows that the guy who's most attractive to our readers is not your average Hollywood hunk or latest musical sensation," said Jill Sieracki, Playgirl's editor-in-chief.

"It's the average Joe who came up on top."

As far as fashion sense, 52 percent like their guys "just a little bit country," while 48 percent want them "a little bit rock and roll."

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Not that my opinion has been asked, and not that I should give it even if it was, but a friend of mine happened to email me about this yesterday and so I decided, since it was news and I do write and work for Playgirl and I did not participate in said survey, I would make up my own damn, short but sweet survey about the ideal man. So here it is.

1. If I had to date a man with one of these qualities, I would pick:
a. a habit of picking his nose and occasionally eating the boogers
b. a fondness for garlic and onions which creates a kind of chronic halitosis
c. a lactose intolerant man who insists on eating dairy without taking any medication
d. a drooler

2. I like it when a man:
a. shows a bit of ass crack
b. belches loudly
c. calls me by his exes name
d. forgets to shower after a couple of days of sex

3. I want my man to want to have sex:
a. with me and another woman
b. with me and another man
c. with other women when I'm not around
d. with other men when I'm not around
e. I'll cut off his balls if he touches ANYONE

4. My ideal man looks like:
a. Robert Plant circa 1973's Song Remains the Same
b. Michael from Grease II
c. Tiny Tim
d. John Goodman

5. The best thing my man could do for me is:
a. Tell me that he loves me everyday
b. Cook and Clean....Naked (if I want him too)
c. Brag about how good I am in bed to his friends
d. Shower me with material goods
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I don't know what this survey will prove, just as I don't know what any survey proves. Which is my point exactly...what the fuck do surveys prove? They are a sample of a sample of a sample of the population, so how do they prove anything?

Still, email me your answers if you feel moved to do so. I won't reveal all my answers but I'll give you my answer for #4...

My ideal man looks like Robert Plant circa 1973's Song Remains the Same...
I like them skinny.
I like them with flowing blond or red hair- I sometimes like brunette, but it helps if you have light hair. Maybe even light eyes. Maybe I'm a Jew with an Aryan fetish..hmm...
Oh, and I like them pretty.

But what do I know after all. I mean this is yesterday's news.

Posted by jamye at August 18, 2021 03:36 PM