September 19, 2021
So this man just knelt down...
Sounds like the punchline to some cheesy, not even funny, why is this guy even trying?, sort of joke, doesn't it? Only it's not actually a joke at all, at least not in New York City.
Walking down Bedford St. in the heart of what is the beginning of the West Village if you're coming from downtown, this man bent down, as if too tie his shoe, but really that's not what he was doing at all.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZiiiiiiiippppppppppppppppp....
So this man just knelt down to pee. Right there in front of a car that I would bet, if I were a betting type of gal, wasn't even his to begin with, he placed his two grocery bags down by his left side and unzipped his stanky fly. He even wore dark sunglasses and whistled as he worked, as if these were big enough distractions.
I was close enough to hear his stream. Close enough to make out that he was cusping his hand over his little brain and aiming for the gutter. I saw it all, and I know he saw me, even behind those plastic shades. He was a dirty man. And he must have had to pee real bad.
The pee lasted quite a while. I was way up the block when I noticed he was still squatting. Not shitting, just squatting. Only that reminds me of another story...one where I saw a man crap himself in the subway.
In summer I always thought the streets smelled like dog pee. Now, I'm not so sure of who's pee I'm smelling. This - I'm not so happy about.
And the cat just puked on the rug again. Fuck.
Posted by jamye at September 19, 2021 11:05 PM