February 06, 2021
11:15
A view. Me from the shoulders on down.
It's 11:15 in the evening and my boyfriend's gone to bed, but before he gets under the covers he tells me, "I want you to get naked and cuddle with me." I hear him, even acknowledge what he says, but I don't listen. It's not that I don't want to get naked and cuddle, but I've only been home for a little over two hours and I'm not ready for bed. Is this what happens when you live with somebody? I think. You take for granted the nights of endless cuddling that you once couldn't wait to enjoy.
On the subway ride home tonight I had come to the realization that I'm a night blogger. Most successful bloggers find some time in the day to explore a deep thought or promote their own lives, but I rarely write before noon. And that's only on special occasions. I usually don't get around to writing before evening. And tonight I haven't had time to write at all, and now he wants me in bed with him...
I don't think it's that our relationship will change in a bad way, I just think that now that I see him every night, nothing's as urgent. Of course I could live with the thought that everything is still urgent, because nothing stays the same from one night to the next, and tonight even the cat has decided to switch things up a bit and he's asleep on the couch, not the bed, like he usually is. And this could be a good thing since last night we heard the tiny pitter patter of mice feet in the living room. And maybe tonight if he (the cat) stays on the couch, he'll find a natural solution to our recent discovery. I don't want to stay on the couch, and I hope we never feel forced to stay on the couch, but am I wrong for not throwing off my pants and twisting into pretzel shapes at 11:15 in the evening?
It's not that this will be my only opportunity to cuddle, in fact most nights are filled with a plethora of those very same golden moments. But right now I feel the need to write about my realization from just under two hours ago.
And the whole realization is that I'm a night blogger. Trivial and not so important, it's a silly thing to have to remember to share, but I sit here, on half of the new couch, the one that took the couch people quite a while to get up my rather slim staircase this morning, and share it anyway. Of course then my mind wanders to the scratch on the leather, the one that came with the couch. And I remember back to early this morning, when at 9AM they brought what I would have thought to be the highlight of my day, but because of a five inch scratch it's nothing but a little disappointing.
But this scratch is not the end of the world. Nor is the realization that I'm a night blogger. The couch will get fixed. The blogging will continue. So now maybe it's time to go cuddle.
Posted by jamye at February 6, 2021 11:29 PM